Third year and counting!
This is the third consecutive year I’ve written one of these fan guides, which means this is the third year the San Francisco Giants have not made the MLB postseason.
In the words of the inimitable Jon Miller: “Bummer, dude.”
Admittedly, they’re getting a little repetitive. The same teams seem to be leaving the Giants in the dust year after year. The same anxiety around whether this will be the year the Hollywood Donglers face off against the Bronx Jankees — or whatever those teams are called — in an objectively “good-for-business”, star-powered World Series for the twelfth time in history and the first time since 1981 has already started rattling around my insides
This is a guide, but also a prayer. Every word written in hope that one of these teams — I don’t particularly care which — will topple the top-seeded brutes in each league.
American League Wild Card Series
Kansas City Royals (5) at Baltimore Orioles (4)
Both Royals and Orioles are in Giants fans’ good graces right now. Or should I say pity. Yeah, the Royals and the Orioles are in the postseason playing for a championship and infinite glory, but do you remember a week ago when both clubs were laid waste by the Giants machine?
The players will haunt Camden Yards in this three game series as husks of their former selves. Mercy, grace, general benevolence — this should be the posture San Francisco fans should take these still shell-shocked opponents.
Still, you gotta root for somebody. A general rule of thumb is you have to root against a team if the Giants ever faced them in the World Series. So the Royals — though likable, and a feel-good success story this year — are on the outs. The Orioles too have the longer Championship drought, not having won the Fall Classic since 1983 when they topped the Philadelphia Phillies in five games. Dear friend Austin Slater is currently employed by Baltimore, and I simply refuse to root against Slater Bro. The possibility of a pinch-hit October Slater tater off one of the four Royal southpaw relievers — hoo-wee!
My pick: Baltimore Orioles
Mitch Stringer-Imagn Images
Detroit Tigers (6) at Houston Astros (3)
Here is where my aforementioned “rule of thumb” gets the finger. Beat it, thumb, rules are meant to be broken. Even though the Giants played Detroit in 2012 (and won, in case you forgot), you’d have to be a short-circuiting cyborg to root for the Houston Astros over the Tigers.
Detroit had a losing record as late as August 25th. They went 33-14 in the 47 games to sneak into October through the backdoor. They did what Giants players talked about doing in subdued postgame interviews after tough losses. Hands on hips: We’re better than this. I swear we’re better than this… The downtrodden Tigers had the same faith and then acted on it to miraculous results. Faith without works is dead.
Hot teams are fun to watch in the postseason because they infuriate the teams that feel entitled to a leisurely autumnal stroll through the playoff bracket. Who cares if the Astros won the division, or have October experience weighed by the ton? The road through the tenth month is fraught with nonsense and unpredictable skullduggery. Infuriating for those directly involved, but for those on the sidelines—why not root for the chaos?
As for players, they have an exciting young core led by Riley Greene and one of the best starters in the game in Tarik Skubal, and a roster chock-full with hip, Gen-Z names like Beau and Colt and Wenceel and Jace and Dillon Dingler. Then there’s manager AJ Hinch, coming into Houston with a taste for vengeance after his banishment to the North.
Houston doesn’t have that cloak of sentiment cast by Dusty Baker as their manager to cloud our judgment anymore. Joe Espada, more like Joe Es-Nada. Don’t forget the weird feud we have with Mauricio Dubon who we dislike but also might just be jealous of because he escaped and we’re still in the bunker.
My pick: Detroit Tigers
Troy Taormina-Imagn Images
National League Wild Card Series
New York Mets (6) at Milwaukee Brewers (3)
The Mets still feel like a long lost relative to the Giants. The traces of our shared DNA is stitched into their uniforms and insignia, and they’ve sported a 24 path on their sleeve since the passing of Willie Mays. How can you not cheer for that?
On the other hand, in more recent history, the Giants and Mets have faced off in single elimination Wild Card games and division series with moments that run on repeat in the theaters of our imagination. Benny Agbayani is still considered a swear word in some houses in the Bay. The same for Conor Gillaspie in certain corners of Queens.
Let bygones be bygones. Lay down the burdens of the past, roll them out on a mat and tree pose them away. Namaste. Though well-shorn and nearly unrecognizable, how can you not root for Sean Manaea? Or José Quintana for that matter. A brief era, but a significant one for its proximity to Camilo Doval’s Iceman origin story (a moniker that has since melted…).
As for the Brewers, I have no strong thoughts or feelings. Facts to help sway the scales: Milwaukee went 4-2 against the Giants this year. But Duane Kuiper is from Wisconsin. But he grew up rooting for the Milwaukee Braves … which is a point I brought up in last season’s fan guide and remains relevant and accurate to this day.
The trump card might be past success, though the Mets haven’t won the World Series since 1986—they have won it. Multiple times, and have played in the Fall Classic as recently as 2015, which might feel like a millenia to your typical New York sports fan, it’s actually less than a decade ago.
The Brewers, on the other hand, have never won the Fall Classic. They’ve only gone once nearly 42 years ago when they lost to St. Louis in 7 games. Robin Yount, Paul Molitor, Cecil Cooper, Gorman Thomas, a 37-year-old Rollie Fingers, a washed-up Don Sutton, a guy named Moose—come on, they’re Harvey’s Wallbangers! To be frank, this Milwaukee team is a far cry from the same level of character and charisma and mustaches as that ‘82 squad.
Photo by Focus on Sport/Getty Images
The deciding factor for me might be who the winner plays in the Division Series. A Phillies-Mets, NL East showdown would not just be good for baseball, it’d be a playoff first.
My pick: New York Mets
Atlanta Braves (5) at San Diego Padres (4)
In 2022, the Padres played the Mets in the Wild Card Series, and despite my personal ties to the city of San Diego, I chose to pull for the Mets. At the time, New York seemed like the better equipped team to take down LA—maybe they would’ve as well, but it was San Diego who slung the river stone and took down Goliath. A rematch of that series nearly happened, and after what transpired in 2022 it’s certainly possible my allegiance would’ve jumped back to my hometown if the two played again. But the Braves took the second game of Monday’s double-header, jumping into the league’s fifth seed which makes this decision not as knotty.
I know one of the rules for this guide is to root against other teams in your division. I know this makes me a lesser Giants fan to some of you out there, a compromised agent, but I got a soft spot for the Pad Squad. I feel for my championship-less hometown. One of my favorite baseball memories is watching my older brother, Matt, who somehow nabbed a t-shirt rocketed into the upper reaches of Qualcomm from a slingshot between innings, excitedly unroll his prize: a white Hanes tee, size XL, with San Diego Credit Union printed across the chest — a single stitch of a Padres logo nowhere to be found.
Different times. The Friars of the early-aughts are cavemen in terms of swagger and moxie and style and freewheelin’ finances compared to their present iteration.
Sentiment aside, the Braves as an ex-inter division rival doesn’t feel much better than the Padres historically. 1993 anyone? Those wounds run deep. And we got to look at the bigger picture here. A Padres win means a Padres-Doghairs division series which will ensure a NL West division series showdown for the fourth year in a row. (a fun burgeoning tradition that would be more fun if the Giants could participate in it again, and to do so without blowing it like last time. San Diego had an 8-5 record over LA during the regular season. Both clubs have been beaten and been beat by LA in playoffs, but the Padres have the most recent positive mojo, taking the Doogers in four games in 2022. The Braves were 2-5 against the Dodgers during the regular season, and frankly, do we want to see a deep October run made by Atlanta without Ronald Acuña Jr.? Though I completely recognize the possibility of El Crudo diehards among the masses…if you count yourself in those ranks, please follow your heart. And if Jorge Soler gets a ring, it kind of feels like the Giants organization should get one as well. Or at least, a handwritten thank-you card.
That being said. We watch October baseball for two reasons. One, the dramatics. We hunt the late-inning flair. It’d be dang good television to watch one of the best clutch teams in baseball (San Diego) be clutch when it matters the most.
Two, for us Giants fan to watch (hopefully) the La La Landers fall on their face on national television …
My pick: San Diego Padres
Joe Camporeale-Imagn Images