It was somewhat amusing, not at all surprising, when an AN insider revealed that Dave Kaval’s nickname was “The Snake” — only Kaval didn’t know it because that was the nickname used, behind his back, by his employees.
If that doesn’t tell you a lot about Kaval, a top 5 list of notable “achievements,” i.e., “legacies of fail,” might. Having announced his resignation, Kaval’s last day on the job will be Tuesday. The man who was great at getting stadiums built, except for the part about actually building a stadium, leaves the following stench in his wake…
#5: Gondolas!
Never one to focus on prudence or reality, when “all in” on Howard Terminal Kaval answered concerns around parking and the railroad tracks by assuring us that it would be solved through gondolas that would transport fans from Jack London Square to the ballpark.
No matter that this was an expensive, complicated, far fetched fantasy, it accomplished what it set out to accomplish. No, not getting fans from point A to point B, deflecting the issue with an answer so absurd no one really wanted to bother to pin it down.
#4: “Parallel Paths!”
Parallel paths are what it’s called when you don’t want to take one path and so you take another, right? The A’s, as Kaval explained, were forced to look at Las Vegas as a possible destination because…well, things were going too well with Howard Terminal.
Howard Terminal was a project that could have cost $2B for a stadium but which John Fisher insisted needed to be a $12B development project. He overlooked the small detail that he couldn’t possibly pay for it and banked on it falling apart since there were myriad obstacles from Schnitzer Steel to toxic waste underground to pesky EIR and lawsuit roadblocks to the need for Oakland to secure many grants.
But each benchmark kept getting passed until the A’s had no choice but to say, “This is working — that doesn’t work!” And so Kaval, he of the endless length nose, came up with “parallel paths,” which the A’s walked down for a few weeks and then announced they were moving to Las Vegas because Oakland just wasn’t viable.
#3: “Rooted In Oakland!”
“Parallel paths” wasn’t even Kaval’s lamest slogan. He trumpeted “Rooted In Oakland” loud and with terrific enthusiasm while simultaneously grabbing his green and gold trowel and poking under the roots.
Kaval’s A’s were so rooted that the more rooted they appeared they were going to be at Howard Terminal, the more they looked to skip town. Engagement with the community, initially a Kaval hallmark, quickly became a mirage. An already old and decrepit Coliseum became actively neglected except for the doubling of ticket prices.
You could not really be less “rooted” but Kaval specializes in telling the truth on Opposite Day. His next employer is going to be oh so lucky.
#2: Congress Debacle
If the Klown show that is Kaval wasn’t evident enough, it was featured on a big stage when the A’s made their pitch to the Nevada congress asking for $380M of taxpayer money. It was rewarding to watch Kaval’s deer-in-the-headlights responses to questions he couldn’t answer, such as how the math was going to work when the math didn’t actually work.
Seeing Kaval freeze, give long awkward pauses, and then stammer through what could only be described as “concepts of a plan for an answer” gave the public a look at the man A’s fans knew but didn’t love.
The cherry on top was when Kaval was publicly humiliated by being referred to as a “walking, talking bobblehead” by former A’s executive Steve Pastorino. Naturally, after cornering Kaval with tough questions for which he had no suitable answers, state lawmakers voted to approve the money.
#1: Laney College
The Laney College debacle is what I like to call “atention to detail”. It’s always a shame when you take on a huge project and then forget to dot an ‘i’. It’s like forgetting to cross a ‘t’ and then being referred to, accurately, as a piece of shil.
Kaval went full steam ahead on Laney College as a “done deal” that would have kept the A’s in Oakland with a brand new stadium, albeit one that no one could foresee was on “parallel paths” with a global pandemic.
But apparently Kaval neglected to make absolutely sure the Peralta Community College trustees were signed off on it, leading to that shocking day when the brilliant minds at a financially failing community college decided that a stadium seemed “like really inconvenient for like parking and stuff?”
Never mind that the stadium was planned for an off-campus parcel that housed district headquarters, and that the Peralta Community College trustees are morons whose business is going broke for a reason. It’s on Kaval that this box wasn’t checked before going public with “It’s absolutely happening for sure!!!” Except it wasn’t.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a summary of some of the highlights from the legacy of lies and incompetence that Kaval is leaving for greener (but not as gold) pastures. I’m just sad that he never got to have his own (walking and talking) bobblehead day. Although I don’t know where I would put it as the nose won’t fit anywhere.
Good riddance.